About the operation.
What began as one gnome and a bad idea became a fake national lawn-personality network.
It started with Gerald.
Gerald was a 14-inch garden gnome with a chipped hat, a crooked smile, and an alarming amount of confidence. After being relocated between two friends’ porches for six straight months, he inspired a business model no bank would finance.
Today, Gnomes 2 Go remains proudly overcommitted to underqualified ceramic men.
A legacy in lawn nonsense.
2019 — The First Move
Gerald crosses a property line under cover of darkness. Nobody takes responsibility.
2021 — Beard Standards Established
After an unfortunate goatee incident, all incoming gnomes receive a rigorous facial-hair review.
2024 — National-ish Expansion
We begin shipping anywhere the postal service is willing to carry a box that giggles when shaken.
Today — Still Not Acquired
Several major corporations continue to have no idea we exist.
What we stand for.
Smallness
We believe impact is not measured in inches, though hat height is carefully documented.
Discretion
What happens behind the hydrangeas stays behind the hydrangeas.
Commitment
We finish every job unless there is lightning, a territorial goose, or lunch.